i'm unique, just like Everyone else.

Last person close the door.

2009-02-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

moved to:

http://chinamade.wordpress.com

she's new.

2008-12-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

Love the hat/helmet.

Today when I came back from Bugis, I fell asleep on the couch. It was a ten minute nap, but I had a dream. I was lying by the candy basket, a chocolate bar in my hands. I took a bite, and looked at the bar; thousands of ants came crawling out of the bar, eating it inside out. It was my first bad dream in ten thousand years. Then I woke up, wanted to grab a bite from the cardboard, so I opened it. And I found this candy bar manifested by ants. I was like, Omfg, I swear I freaked. Even though it seems more of a coincidence than some superpower of mine.

Anyway, there's a new cat in town (my block)! She's hot, playful and naughty. Hee. She's a brunette y'all! Okay I will be in/on Genting until Sunday. I hope I have fun. I hope I find something new. I hope it'll somehow free me from all these.

I also hope that my Dad's friend's daughter is really cute.

I've never missed anything like that.

2008-12-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

All Wenfei's pictures. I want a camera! Also, thanks to Wenfei, the HaruHaru and ShiyoShiyo can't stop playing in my head.

there's always some shit going on in my head. It's quite. Awful.

I wanna grow up and have sex.

2008-12-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

I'm back and have been awfully lazy. I only posted five cos' that's like the limit per upload and I'm going to shit soon so I thought I'd do it again another time. Anyway on thursday I was at fox with my aunt, in town, and there was this cute girl working there. So I told my Aunt, 'Hey look that girl over there's pretty cute,' which turned out to be such a mistake. 'Cos later when my Aunt was asking for a new piece of the shirt I was gonna buy, she slipped in an extra sentence,'My nephew thinks you're cute and would like to have your number,' Damn I swear I was stunned for like, five seconds before turning red all over. So I helped out with the wedding yesterday and went to Malaysia this afternoon so I haven't contacted her yet. Hee. Oh yes the wedding yesterday was a blast and the bride's friend is so cute. Okay shit time.

the Handwriting-ology

2008-11-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

I think we should all just drop the idea of shopping at Zara/Topman/NUM/anything-you-can-think-of and just stay budget-ed at Bugis Street. I know it looks super gangstar-ish but some, and I mean only some of the clothes are really worth getting. And you can like, hone your bargaining skills or something. Okay friends, I'll be away from tomorrow till 8th. I'm not exactly keen on this trip, but yeah I hope it's good. Will be back with pictures, if the gay camera works. Okay folks that's all for tonight.

Btw, I know a girl who calls his younger brother 'Korkor' :D

elf.

2008-11-27T06:07:00.000-08:00

Chalet was good. Made me realise how much I need to go on a diet Hehe. Okay I'm exhausted. Jingle gang FTW.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY CUTE MOTHER!

2008-11-22T19:52:00.000-08:00

HEH I BOUGHT HER FAVOURITE CAKE FOR HER WAIT TILL SHE FINDS OUT :D I'M SWOONING WITH EXCITEMENT HOHOHO. OKAY BYEBYE EVERYONE I;LL GO ACCOMPANY HER. SHE'S SO CUTE :D

100th post.

2008-11-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

Today I want to talk about my future apartment in Bukit Timah. It'll be awesome. Let me describe a typical day in my future Bukit Timah apartment.

I wake up, and I check the clock. 7am, I sit up. White pillow, white bed, grey curtains. I hit a button, and the curtains are drawn. I step out of bed, stretching, walking towards the windows. I open them, and I'll hear the familiar chirping of the birds that dance around the trees. What a pretty morning. After brushing my teeth with Colgate and washing my face with Biore, I will proceed to have my breakfast in my balcony. Toast with Nutella chocolate, accompanied by a cup of low fat milk. Also, my Husky, named _______, will have breakfast with me in the balcony. My pretty husky. The peaceful environment is awesome, I'm feeling it. I then proceed to do some work in the peaceful environment. Super. And then oh no, Ben gets bored. No worries, cos I can always visit and poke Shane to the max. Okay, lunchtime. Starving. I'll whip up something for me to eat. I'm gonna have this super cool kitchen in my house where I can bbq/fry/boil/toast/grill/and-the-thing-you-do-with-the-big-flat-thing/bake. Oh dear, Ben has an last minute meeting with his friends, but fret not, he'll have his lunch packed in a lunchbox. Yay, happy kid with his lunchbox. The evening approaches after the lively afternoon, and the sun begins to set. I'll bring my Husky to jog around the neighbourhood, before it becomes completely dark. Then, I'll be back up in my balcony in time for the last breathtaking moments of the sunset. Ben is hungry for dinner. Once again he'll cook a fast meal for himself, which is partnered with fine wine. Finishing his main course, he goes into the bathroom and enjoys a bubble bath, while sipping wine, with good music. ABBA Gold. Fantastic. After soaking his tired limbs, he gets up, dries himself, wash his face with Biore and brush his teeth with Colgate. Then, before I sleep, I'll watch Disney Channel from 9 to 10.30, which will totally lighten my spirits. as the closing theme song of The Suit Life of Zack and Cody plays, Ben looks at the clock. 10.30pm. Time for him to sleep. He walks into his room, pushes the button for the curtains, and tucks himself comfortably in his ten thousand dollar bed made to enhance slumber. He pushes another button to off the lights and whispers to the world, 'Goodnight.'

So wordy I know, but still awesome :)

how does it feel to die, being shot in the head?

2008-11-13T01:25:00.000-08:00

there has got to be a way out of this shit, it's driving me crazy. I'm so fark-ed. Oh I'm the second option once again!

Anyway, I'm really going to try out the money saving plan the Jingle gang has designed. I need to save money for clothes, for chocolates, AND FOR CHRISTMAS HELLO. Best. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT TO THE MAX. I'm going to sing christmas songs so that Santa will give me more good stuff. Yeah right. Anyway,

DID Y'ALL KNOW THAT POLAR BEARS ARE LEFT HANDED?

Relationships are based on what you do, rather what you didn't.

pacing.

2008-11-11T04:01:00.001-08:00

I haven't been sleeping much, and life isn't treating me well either. I had fun with the Jingle gang though. Despite just knowing each other for about a week or two. I have questionable feelings at times, some I wished I never had. The good, the weird, and the ugly. Sheesh, maybe it's the thick hair.

Cos things always turn out fine. Who the hell came up with that saying.

you're not faraway.

2008-11-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

Things have happened today. Many. So, in the morning emotional Ben took the long train ride to the airport, and spoke too much. Then Mars left and boarded her plane, and we're all full of reluctance. Mars is never faraway and we'll be there for her whenever she may need us, that doesn't change. We then made our way for a meal, and my mum didn't allow me to skip training, so the Jingle gang agreed to wait for Ben to finish training and then head off for home. At home Ben is alone and he thinks and he thinks and he is sad, in some way or another. Things have happened because Ben did things. Every action has an reaction to it, but words might not carry the intended meaning, that is, into the ears of others. Things happen way too fast and Ben needs time to digest.

I don't wanna fall off a bridge and die!

2008-11-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

Ah blogging. It's always been an on off kinda thing, like sometimes I wanna do it and sometimes not. But today it felt different. So anyway today was the jingle gang outing day.

Btw,

JingWei&Timo, if you're reading this, Shan(e) and I are just friends, you know? Totally 95% girl thang. Not my fault that I'm so gentlemanly ;)

Okay so we watched StepUp2, and I'm still like, I wanna dance those moooooves. There's no way I'm ever gonna pull it off but, it doesn't hurt to dream :)

Why're my words all in caps and overlapping. Stupid blogger.

The diamond sun picture. It's a masterpiece, and my desktop wallpaper :)

my chinese Remedials.

2008-11-03T02:42:00.000-08:00

Chye, nuff said.

amazingly, Terence looks skinner in the picture above!

Blur to the max. Someone please sponsor me a camera.

I can't wait for the Aussie trip. The homestay will be awesome, I hope. I've always wanted to visit Australia, cos Kangaroos are hot and they sell Koala underwear (:

Two days before the exam, I've finally decided to do something about chinese. You know, like to not fail. There're so many things on my mind, and the stupid exam isn't helping. Can't wait for this shit to pass.

GOOD LUCK ALL OLVL CANDIDATES. LET'S GET OVER AND DONE WITH IT.

super Garlic breath.

2008-11-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

I want a camera so I can capture beautiful moments before Earth dies and we wither. The sky was pretty, but my stupid phone failed on me :(

I was mostly speechless today. But the feeling was so familiar. It seems I have lesser things to say nowadays. The exam is in three days. And I've done, practically nothing. So much for wanting to ace higher chinese so that I don't need to take it in JC. Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die.

Forty Seconds To Venus!

2008-11-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

ZuoQuan's idea. Totally.

Usain Bolt's amazing calf!

Swam. I nearly lost the bet and had to wear a freakin' bikini. The rainy weather in the morning was so lazy. I had half a mind to skip remedial, which was a waste of time as usual; BUT I DIDN'T. It totally proves how much I want an A for Chinese.

I hope you're doing well, and I don't know what else to say. I can't say I fully understand how you're feeling without talking to you about it, because I don't wanna be Mr. Insensible again.

don't wanna miss a thing.

2008-10-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

Sentosa was good, despite leaving so early, at like one. Max Payne was cool too, bang bang bang. But I thought, we were the bomb.

Dear Mars,

I'm going to miss you like how a chocoholic craves for his mars bar. It'll be a dramatic change: No one eats as slow as you, and no one gets lost like you do. Our attempts to matchmake people were fun, and I'll remember them. Heh I'll think of you whenever I take a bite on a cheeseburger. And I'll remember too, that you're not faraway. It's going to be a tough goodbye.

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I'll miss you

Until we meet again!

Mooncall.

2008-10-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

I was standing in the midst of the train crowd. I turned left, and I saw a group of ahbengs cursing and swearing among themselves. Ugly. I turned right, and I saw this adorable infant in the arms of a lady who was dressed in tattoos. Weird. In front was this guy on the phone, with probably his girlfriend on the other end. They were breaking up. Sad. From the back I hear the quarreling of two children, fighting for the PSP. Childish.

It's a typical friday. I like fridays.

I'm selling my personality, you want some?

2008-10-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have fallen in love with the keyboard sounds. In fact, all type of sounds. Sounds that scissors make, sounds that closets make, whatever.

Today I had a sexuality talk on STD. I was like,

OMFG I F*CKING DON'T WANNA HAVE F*CKING HERPIS.

I don't wanna have a cauliflower growing in between my legs, hurting like hell, and it spits pus instead of cum (WTF I KNOW)

Please, everyone, do not have unprotected sex unless you want your reproductive organs F*CKED.

the awesome Bottle Catamaran.

2008-10-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

today I had a happy afternoon, when i shouldn't be. But this was what she would've wanted.

Goodbye to you.

2008-10-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

I removed this part cos I thought it was inappropriate. Yeah, please don't spread it around.

I love you, MJ.

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, Always

Hey Jude.

2008-10-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

Okay the day started with chinese remedial, which meant a bad start since the teacher was such a bitch. And then we went to WenJie's house, and then to Vivo. Yes best part was dinner. My parents brought the Chens with us to dinner at the Indian curry place, AND WE ATE WITH OUR HANDS. ZuoQuan DejaVu? :D

Okay story doesn't end there. So we were eating with our hands, happily playing with our food right, and then the owner of the weirdass place came to teach us how to eat with hands properly. So, he happily took his own banana leaf and put rice on it, sat with us, and was showing us how to 'handle' it. And then, he was like, 'so you put the rice in between you fingers and the thumb, and you push the rice into your mouth with your thumb, like this' and then he did it, and all his rice fell all over the place. Funny thing was, he said this: I forgot to wash my hands, and they were smelly, so I INSTINCTIVELY dropped them. After he left we were laughing like jackasses, and he was so embarrassed!

Shopping around Vivo is such a workout. There're so many hot people at that place. My hands smells like curry. I miss you. Hey Jude.

I have got to meet that freakin' bird!

2008-10-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

Exams are over.

went to catch housebunny, which is lovely, everyone should catch it hehe.

Yes, I made that myself, using three minutes of the countless hours of free time I have. What should I do now. I'll watch videos, but it'll get bored after staring into the screen after sometime. I'll play games, but it doesn't appeal to me anymore. I'll go out, but sometimes I'm just too tired.
This cannot, that cannot.

You can't leave a footprint that lasts if you're walking on tiptoe.

Hey y'all!

2008-10-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

HELLO EVERYONE EXAMS ARE ENDING.
tomorrow's emath and almost nobody is giving a damn so, hoohaa. I'm going to start blogging again, and I'm sorry my blog was dead during the exam period. Okay, so this is the part of the year where all the fun starts coming in and everything keeps getting better and better. I think. Drama serials, computer games, outings, non-stop parties, and just stoning in front of the computer/tv, sitting on the sofa sipping coffee that AuntRose makes. I have been so deprived these few weeks and it's finally time live it yeah! Hahaha I sound so lame but who cares, I'm high.

Now what.

Okay let's start with my eye candy. her head is not puffy like Pao and her head is perfectly proportionate to her body.

okay the second picture is my mum. She's so cute.

"hey what's 橄榄球 in english, I suddenly forget"

"aiyah, Ruby lor!"

"Huh, what Ruby?"

"R-U-G-B-Y, Ru-beeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!"

it's Children's day.

2008-10-01T04:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone forgot that today's Children's day.
And that we're all children.

if vacations were a daily routine.

2008-09-23T03:09:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be buried in books, pulling my hair roots out over a chemical equation, but here I am. I know I'll be restless unless I say something. So here I am. Recollections pile up in my train of thought - I am utterly disgusted at some of the things I done. Things I've done that have hurt people. Things I do for pointless reasons with negative repercussions. Stupid things.

I'm sorry, to everyone whom I have been dishonest with. I'm sorry that I was so childish in my thinking. I'm sorry that my insensitivity has caused you misery in any way at all. I'm sorry that I'm so naive in some of the things I do. And I try to change.

Anyway, I was watching The Big Give starring Operah. I think she's the best person ever. Everyone should check her out. Gogogo.

Back to studying.
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR PAPERS, EVERYONE WHO ACTUALLY READS THIS BLOG.

He bent down behind the machine, out of the wind. Huddled there, he sensed that all their work and risk-taking was for nothing. Their situation would deteriorate further before it improved. If it ever improved.

the time of my life.

2008-09-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEN (SPACE) FEI

WEN FEI YOUR BIRTHDATE IS THE INTERNATIONAL PEACE DAY :D

http://www.internationaldayofpeace.org/

btw, those bitches who pranked me, you're sooooo dead.

I'll do it when I feel like it.

2008-09-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

AIN'T SHE THE HOTTEST THING ON EARTH.

I think you're divine.

2008-09-09T03:01:00.000-07:00

I didn't forget I just can't remember.

Hee, went to visit my other nephew. He's so adorable I could have cuddled him to death. Also, we both share a similarity, we eat everything. I think he's gonna be hot and strong and muscular and hot and strong. Bomb.

anyway, I'm contemplating the idea of changing the blogskin again, since the tagboard ain't working with me. And I cant blog as often for the next twenty five days or so, due to the damn exams. Mug mug mug. Books books book. Die die die. Kill kill kill.

The wind had followed the thunder and the lightning into the east. Torrents fell straight down, silver in the air and dirty on the pavement. Soon dawn would break behind the clouds, the dawn that she had thought she might never see.

annual sensation.

2008-09-05T04:19:00.000-07:00

The train travelled down the tracks in the shapely afternoon, I gazed out of the window.

I thought, and I thought. I used to engage on a childish mindset, that whatever I'm doing in school will not affect much of my career, at least not the subjects I hate. I slack and laze off for work. I copy and brief through homework. And I learn nothing.

I think what everyone should focus on, not only lies within those freaking thick books of knowledge, but as well as your attitude towards all these shit, and I mean it. Me, I'm a failure at it. I'm a last minute kinda guy which obviously does badly in class. On the other hand, look at people like Josh, he's so determined and hardworking. It's the learning attitude that educators wanna nurture in us. I have failed, and I want to grab the rope now, before it disappears from my sight forever.

I look at the things around me, my friends mostly, the things I have, the things I lost, the things I don't want to lose. I want a good life in the future, but first I have to deserve it. I can't afford to shake my legs and doze off in class. I wanna be able to tell myself, that I'm worth a good life.

Heh I know it sounds exaggerated and shit, but I think of stuff, yes I do. Now, finally, the feeling is back. This time, I hope I can keep it.

things I'd do.

2008-09-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks for everything you did today, BBB. I'm always happier with you. You don't need to feel sorry for that. Things will be fine, I just wanted to avoid the company at home. Thanks for yet another health education lesson, and thoroughly rinsing geography in my head. I'll watch the movie and tell you when I cry!

She walked with him. The sun passed its zenith, and the trees began to grow east-leaning shadows, and she walked with him.

I want an everlasting Gobstopper

2008-09-02T08:23:00.001-07:00

I WANT AN EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPER.

Today, was yet another slack day. I've been trying hard to study, but to no avail. I think Shuli's right, studydates with me are just entertainment time man :P It's not my fault that books are a pain in the ass like freaking piles. Not much time left, and I'm still drifting, yet to be anchored by the gravity of year end exams. On a lighter note, Pocky sticks are really tasty.

In the bright pellucid sky, the rising hawk was as black and clean as a shadow once more. Its wings cleaved the shining air, and the high thermals were the pristine currents of a river through which it swam, and dwindled, and vanished, having killed only what it needed to survive.

I love meat paus.

2008-09-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

THANKS WEN (SPACE) FEI
for helping with the blogskins. I'm now a proud owner of my blog, smiling cheekily like spongebob. Thanks for sharing health education with me today, I just can't have enough!
Love ya!

sometimes you can listen so hard for the faintest sounds, that you don't even hear the louder ones.

the everchanging Sky.

2008-08-31T07:02:00.000-07:00

Hey clement, this is the 159th picture in my phone :)

I wanna have a baby! Who wants to make one with me!

a million insignificant Faces.

2008-08-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

I thought this year's teacher's day outing was the best :D
I certainly miss our primary school days, when we were innocent and ignorant. When nothing seemed to matter. When homework was fun. When we had four subjects instead of nine. When recess queues were never long. When we did drama for every essay. When I'd visit the garden every recess. When we watch movies when complete a topic. When hopscotch was fun. When our school field was muddy as ever. When prefect duty was slack. When we'd play catching. When we'd laugh our ass off at something stupid. When we were all great friends.

I think we should meet up more often.

I do need someone. Yes, I do. But no one's within grasp. I stretch my hands but no one catches it.

if textbooks were Hard cash.

2008-08-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to tomorrow. Freakin school won't let me cut class to visit UPS. Hopefully the outing will lighten my week :)

The August flu caught me by the wind.
It refused to budge, even after a swiggle, a bash.
Tagging careless victims,
August flu.

Failure five minute poetry.

champagne Supernova, in the sky.

2008-08-26T02:53:00.001-07:00

Dreamy songs takes me away, takes everything away. Raging storms takes me away, takes everything away. I'm not a happy boy, but at least I try. Correction, I'm not a happy MAN :)

Disney Channel is my life-saver from eternal emo-ness. Hannah Montana is an appetiser, Wizards of Waverly Place the main course, Suite Life of Zack and Cody the soup of the day, and the occasional sweet Cory's Life as the dessert.

The idea of working at NUM during the holidays have been comtemplating in my head. It'll be so cool, it's like the only job when you can work and look good at the same time :)

Suddenly I see.

2008-08-24T00:17:00.000-07:00

Suddenly I see,
who're the ones who truly care. It's as if, my vision is so much clearer now, so clear that it hurts. Yeah, it'll help me in the long run; at least I know people who're real, and people who're just plastering that stupid damn face. I feel pathetic. Fuck this shit.

Sentosa + Carl's meal + Sleepover at Terence's + Sleeping for three hours + Freakin' CIP + Badminton = Major Fatigue + Negative feelings

Well, I suppose the feelings were from somewhere else, but anyway, I love the Sentosa/Badminton/Mrt/Toilet gang. Sorry Isaac, for me missing afternoon Badminton. I'm glad you understand. I was so tired I slept to Jurong East till the staff woke me up.

I don't want my blog to be Emo either, but I'm just one sad boy ;(

a maroon sea with a Speck of black.

2008-08-19T03:31:00.000-07:00

I felt like a pain in the butt.
I miss my cousin.
School sucks.

You're good at this game, and I really don't want to play anymore.

Several thoughts make a story.

2008-08-17T04:15:00.001-07:00

Funny day, today.
I was shopping for my bag at royal sporting house, when this girl walked into the shop, and she was browsing through the bags too. And then somehow, I don't know how, just some how, she thought I was the staff and asked me for the bag in another colour. I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't the staff, cos it's good fun :P So anyway, I made a new friend, Stella. I got my bag for fourty bucks :D

I saw alot of houses today. Retro, modern, common. And I wonder, what kind of an apartment will I live in, in the years to come.

I want a good home.

到时。

2008-08-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you for taking the initiative. I'd love to relive our happy moments, and I am going to. So what if strangers think we're gay. We have each other and that's what counts.

Today was a blast, really. Meet Dave was awesome. The mum was off the hook. Let the music take me! Then went to Shane's concert, saw her and the gang perform the ChuanChuan! It was cute I swear.

During the concert there was this song, it reminded me of my cousin so much. Hah, I even teared, I dont think anyone saw though :P

Anyway, I got this hoodie for freakin ten bucks. I was telling my (adorable) mum about it.

"I got this for ten dollars!"
"Yeah, and I'm Zhang ZiYi!"

give me More.

2008-08-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

I have found a weird but true trend in my life. It seems that, a person's voice has a big part to play in his life. For instance. A common lesson in my class. Someone with a jokey voice like Jabez says something stupid. Everyone laughs. Someone with an sarcastic tone like Clement says something retarded. Everyone laughs. Someone with bagfuls of lame jokes like JinPeng (I spelt your name correctly) cracks a lame joke. Everyone laughs. However, we fail to realise that, when someone else, say Tjioe, opens his mouth and says something, people jeer. What's even more amazing is that, they can say the same thing, and still receive the same results; one being responded and the other not. Wenjie speaks, and people asks him to shut up. Jabez speaks, we ask him to speak more, cos it's always something stupid and entertaining.. Different people get different response when they open up, and that's not in our control. I just find it so, retarded.

my favourite Studydate.

2008-08-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

foolish, retarded, happy.

count on me, Singapore.

2008-08-09T18:35:00.001-07:00

I'm a small boy in a big world.
But I'll succeed.
Cos I have big dreams.

not an emo post.

2008-08-08T00:51:00.000-07:00

I suddenly feel like saying a million sorries and a million thankyous.

Wenfei, this is the 3478568346576 times im saying thank you. I've said so much stuff you'd probably know what I'm gonna say. I've known you for a good six years (and counting) and you've brought in much to my life. Cheers, my old pal :D

Dwi, you've become something I look forward to at the end of everyday. You surprise me with something everytime; you must be the best neighbour in whole wide world. Thanks for baking pie (don't mix sugar with salt) and drawing for me when I'm down. uh I'm gonna do your thing and write 'XOXO' :) see you tonight for disneychannel nightwatch.

Seb, thanks for all the sunday night rituals to make me feel not sian. Must take me to be fantastic-cut-hair-place next time!

Alyssa, sorry for not contacting you for so long. I will never forget our hideout date kay. We'll walk town and talk idiotic someday again! Thank you for always listening to my shitty problems, and don't hesitate to throw some of yours to me. Cheers!

Shuli, once again, the 738904578936 time I'm saying thank you. Thanks for the pretty card too, it's not gay :) Although our friendship wasn't always smooth-sailing, I treasure it, and I won't wanna lose it. And you owe me Yami yoghurt! Haha, Cheers.

UncleKun, 谢谢你一直以来的照顾，还有星期六的宵夜。你的咖哩非常美味，我再吃也吃不腻！我会尽量改，然后用标准的华文和你交谈。多多指教！

Sarah, I hope you've been doing fine. I miss the days when we would talk about Prada and LV even when we've hardly seen them. I'm sorry for hurting you in the past, and I hope you'll forgive me. I hope we can shop for events again, cos no one judges like you. I'm sorry.

Mars, thank you for being my sister man. Although I havent been contacting you for some time, I want the Sentosa Four to go sentosa again! And we'll go, for you. I'll miss you when you move to Canada, and don't forget to visit! Hotline, 90662007. Call for help :) See you tomorrow!

Isaac, I'm glad I've been of help to your problems, and I hope you'll continue to think positive :) Thank you for listening to my crap as well. English Getai is good, no chinese please. Don't forget to tell me when you get a girlfriend!

Natalie, I honestly couldn't believe it when you remembered my birthday :) Honestly, I only remembered yours when I saw the reminder in my phone. Thank you for the baking gloves man, I can't bear to use them though. I'll get you the weird bag (can put pictures on it one!)

Chris, Madonna is not hot, I hope we get it clear. Thank you for making me realise I'm not as weird as I think, and that deep voices aren't exactly bad. Thanks for all the crapping, can't wait for more. Cheers!

Keefe, you burly muffin! I love your bag like anything and I wanna get it :) I'm really sorry I TOTALLY missed out on your birthday present. I promise to get you something to compensate for the loss man. Now let's train hardcore till our butts cramp and win a title next year!

Jingwei, although you're not very sensible and can be ultra insensitive, thank you for making my trainings interesting. Just keep telling about your stuff, while I try to keep count of the number of girls you like. I know you're gonna beat me in my event, and you dont need to apologise, cos you deserve it more than me. Cheers, boobs!

Elaine, I realised I havent met you for a century. Our comedy company is winding up man, lousy CEO (but very very good friend) we need to revive business and laughter. You make me wanna get bracers, and the newurbanmale singlet. Cheers, prettygirlwithoutbracersanymore.

Clement, thanks for acting stupid in class with me, and coming up with funny slogans and shit. The way you take things so easy makes me jealous man. Teach me a thing or two!

Junwei, I actually want to thank you for crapping with me in school, and anywhere else when we're together. Sentosa gang is love and I won't miss another Sentosa outing! For now, Cheers yidian!

Kelly, I havent seen you for 144 days (I checked the calender) when're you coming back huh. You need to teach me how to make raspberry cheesecake! Thanks for writing me an essay of how to stay boredom-free. I hope you've been making good love with your books and studies there! Still, come back soon! :D

omg, the list will be sufficient to built a staircase to the moon, if i continue. There's just so many.

things I owe.

2008-08-06T04:50:00.000-07:00

My Beloved Sentosa Gang

Thanks for the concern, guys. I really appreciate it, from the bottomless pit of sadness in my heart. I've begun to realise what's real and what's not. I'm pretty grateful for my mind, cos I think so much, and I wriggle my problems through most of the time, like some auto-heal-itself thing. Now, it feels so light, cos I just don't care as much. And I'm happier.

Wenfei, you're one of the few real things in my life. I don't wanna lose you, and I'm really happy we're good friends. Thank you for texting me in the mornings, at night, and anytime else. Thank you for understanding my ridiculous thoughts sometimes. I'm most grateful.

Shuli, thank you for talking to me on Sunday. You helped my think-alot-but-very-slow brain realise that it doesn't matter what others think about you. I used to be self-conscious and neutral among people, as if people will murder me if I'm not a friend or anything. You're one where I turn to for advice all the time. You've done much for me, and I hope I've done the same.

Isaac, thank you for talking to me in class, hearing out my problems. I hope I've been of help to your problems as well, and you can come to me anytime. But for now let's continue singing english melodies. (Psst, I think we can start an English Getai)

This are just a few I'd like to mention. Thanks, each and everyone of you that showed concern for me. I appreciate it like I appreciate life.

LOVE YOU GUYS.

this happy story has a Sad ending.

2008-08-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

I'm crushed. I wish that someone will break into my house and shoot me in the head right now, so that I won't feel a thing, after that ant bite. I don't know who I am anymore. And I really can't be bothered to do anything.

I'm sorry I had to skip the happy post of yesterday's outing for this shit. I just can't do it now. Sorry, my beloved Sentosa gang.

A hot, hot Summer day.

2008-08-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

HOT STUFF MANZZZZ.

So, we had the CIP today, and I saw this half Japanese half Singaporean girl, who's totally cute. Her eyes are like the size of the moon. Oh, but she's only twelve :P

No, I'm not a phidophile (spelling?)

And we had alot of toast-sighting today. A few strawberry, a few chocolate, a handful of kaya, and an even bigger handful of chao ta, and one really chocolate chao ta.

Nothing like hopscotch on a summer day.

oh, Delilah.

2008-07-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

My day got ruined. Luckily I had a Superwoman save me :)
Thanks for the daily disney-channel nightwatch, It's a luxury.
Yea, exams are gonna be over, big whoop.

Sometimes, it's just not enough.

so Near yet so far.

2008-07-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going to let you in on a secret: You've got everything you need to be happy.
A new attitude may not be able to change the world, but t can change your world.
Part of our problem today, one reason we confuse pleasure with happiness. The former is a sensual feeling, the latter is spiritual.
Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular.
Evertime we do something to empty that wrry box of whatever i troubling us, we find some way to fill it up again.
The secrets to happiness are all in your head, not just because they're attitudes, but because they're truths we learned at some point in our lives but have eiher overlooked or forgotten.

I'm gonna be a shifu of happiness, and I'll open my sect and teach people how to be happy.
I take nets and credit cards :)

So close.

2008-07-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

I was so shocked man. I can't believe I attract cats too. This babe here crawled through the metal gate and ran into the room, up my leg, and believe it or not, she's sitting on my desk now :)

Hey Wens, thanks for today, I super appreciate it. Thanks for telling me not to be Emo. Thanks for arranging my stationery in my Superman pencil case. Thanks for the heartwarming notes. I treasure our friendship more than any others, for it has sailed through rough storms and remote seas (i dont think I'm talking sense here) and I'll keep it forever.

PS. I'M NOT CHILDISH. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Love you (:

Hi, I think I like you.

2008-07-24T04:01:00.000-07:00

I used to think you were different from the rest.
I thought you were one of those whom I can share personal stuff with.
I thought you were real.
I trusted you.
Yet, you barge in with a gun pointed at my head.
And you threaten to pull the trigger.
I want to tell you, that it's your loss and not mine, but I can't bear to.
To think I still think of you as a friend now.
Now, look me in the eye.
And fire away.

Thanks Porridge, for rining me up in the middle of the night just to make sure I'm doing fine.
Although I got to know you through a dramatic sequence, I'm really glad we're friends today.
And that doesn't mean you dont owe me ice cream anymore :D

Valerie Theorem

2008-07-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

Valerie theorem states that when you're in love, you're blinded and won't be able to see the flaws of your lover. Valerie is a smart girl :)

Have you guys thought, what if only time could stop?
If I had the powers to make time stop whenever I want, the world would be a better place. I'd save all the people before the tsunami hits. I'd save the people before the buildings collapsed. I'd free all the animals without anyone knowing. I'll be Robin Hood and steal food for people in Cambodia. So many things I'd do.

Then of course, I'd so selfish things. I'd cheat in my tests and hey we all know that that's the first thought that comes to mind, aye? :) So the question lies here. Would you put your gift to good use when you're in possession? Would you do the right things?

With great power comes great responsibility.

Although it sounds funny sometimes, this spidey-quote is meaningful. And yes, I think too much, I know.

the sweet Blue hummingbird.

2008-07-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

It was raining.
It was God's way of being sad.
And you sit in the corner silently, emotions devouring your heart.

Things do go wrong in life, in fact they always will. These things, you wish you have control over them, but the shitty fact is you don't, so the only thing you can and should do, is to perfet the things within your control. Growing up is all about picking yourself up after you fall, no matter how many times. Yes you fall, you get bruises, but when you heal, it forms a thicker layer of protection where you fell on. Falling makes you stronger, don't be afraid to fall. Like I said, I'll always be there to catch you :)

Anyway, life's too short for unhappiness. You live in this world for no one but yourself, so live it well!

Here's a little something that might put a smile on your face.

Never go gloomy, use your mind, Hope is a better companion than fear;
Providence, ever benignant and kind, Gives with a smile what you take with a tear;
All will be right, Look to the light.
Morning was ever the daughter of night; All that was black will be all that is bright.
Many a foe is a friend in disguise, Many a trouble a blessing most true,
Remember these words of wisdom and wise, Your life will be easier and you will not be blue.
Never lose your hope, follow your plan And live life doing all that you can

I got your back, Isaac :)

I wish I didn't care.

2008-07-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

I found and fixed an old MP3 player. I plugged it in, and I listen.
Memories, so many memories.
It was as if a part of my childhood was stored inside, and it gets inserted into my ears.
Beautiful.

Ah, Ms Hua asked me to become a frickin Prefect.
She should've seen the likes of me in primary school man. Prefect duty = sleeping. But anyway, she said it'll look good on my CV or whatever, and I only have to do three months. So, well, I've decided to give it a try, despite already having not enough time for all the shit commitments.

I just went swimming and I'm tanned like Joel!
(similarities of prefects man)

don't be Sad, it's contagious.

2008-07-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

Do I look good like I'm good to pick on?

Damn, some idiot cut my queue and flung vulgarities all over, and said I'd lose my face the moment I left school. Bleah, we ran him over in the damn canteen. That rat has no balls man, running and hiding away. Just in case the pussyface is reading this blog, here's a note to you.

FUCK YOU, BITCH.

Yes, I'm working hard to keep my expertives from escaping my lips. :)

Oh and I'm serious, sadness is contagious. I think they should scientifically prove it man.
Ah, FRIENDS QUIT BEING SAD OR I'M GONNA DIE BEFORE YOU DO.

the Supernova.

2008-07-16T05:41:00.000-07:00

CONGRATS CATHIGH TRACKNFIELD TEAM.

Yay, we did us proud.

Somehow, this year, the championships felt different to me. I feel something when our team is so close to winning. I feel something when our team is beaten by a small margin. I feel something for the flaws and strengths of our team. And for once, I felt proud of the CatHigh T&F.

Yes, I've always though track and field was an individual sport. No doubt, it's true to some extent. But on the whole, we're on track and field team. Every athlete matters. On that field, we're alone, but back on the stand, we're a troop.

Pictures on when I get them, thanks Chye for piggyback-ing me :D

the metal Underwear.

2008-07-15T04:14:00.000-07:00

I truly hate chinese.
I wonder which part of civilisation went so wrong that Chinese was invented.
Listening Compre sucked bad, I have like two wrong already.

Ah, as usual I'm in no mood to study for the exams. I wonder if my dad"s sperms had some shit in the nucleus that disallows the offspring to study. Or whether the egg has the cell wall that filters such stuff. I'm trying hard to study, but a goldfish can beat my attention span. I need someone to work with.
SOMEONE MAKE ME A STUDYDATE.

Indispensible.

2008-07-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

MY NEW BABY

Got a new phone, love it. It's so sexy, I feel naked just looking at it.

Anyway, the promoter was telling us how cheap it is, with this offer and that. So we were happy, then when we made payment, it was like, 200 bucks more expensive. Hahaha, loser promoter man, got my mum pissed. She almost ate her, demanding a discount. Not my money anyway ;D

she isn't Immortal.

2008-07-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

It seems that, you appear paler with each passing day. You tell me that yo do not fear Death, and you only fear that I'll be sad. But telling you that I'm not would be lying. How could I not be. You're my family, one of the closest kins I have. Heck, you're just like my sister, who watches out for her little brother, for his every step. I would give my life for you when the situation demands, but now, you hold me in your hands, ever so cold. I promise that I'll bring you to the many places in my native land.

And I will.

Then I question myself, can I really afford to lose you?

the boring game, called Life.

2008-07-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

GUYS THIS IS FAKE.

Hahaha. Training was good fun, in fact it lighted up my (really bad) day.

Anyway, I saw this hot girl on the mrt and I challanged myself not to look at her, AND I DIDNT.

Oh and I saw this guy, his name tag was, DANIEL OMG.

I appreciate my chronicles of MRT-rides.

I (don't) like you.

2008-07-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

It's all over.
The championships are over, and I'm beaten with 6th placing.
Yea people say it's good for a Sec3, but I know I could've done better.
Hah feels so emo man.

Wenfei told me not to be emo, and I nodded, but I realise I can never really steer myself away unless I have something occupied in my head. And yes, Track and Field is an individual sport and there's no one to support you when you fall. Sucks manxzxzx.

Teehee, on a lighter note, GAMES FROM NOW ON. And more time to focus on school work. And it's not my fault there's five tests in the next two days and I only knew it yesterday (cos I didn't pay attention) Not studying! Thanks Wens for asking me to go back to the stadium. Thanks for accompanying me through dinner. Thanks for putting smiles on my face after a fall. Love you :D I'm glad I met up with the W&S today. So Wens and I were heading to Popular to get my Superman pencil case, when we saw MR CHEW. Like, omfg, he had those suspecting eyes. He even tailed us to Popular!
Oh and,

DEREK YEO I HATE YOU COS YOU DAO ME EVEN WHEN I WAVE MY HAND IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

"what're you doing in my mouth?"

2008-07-08T04:40:00.000-07:00

ORAL IS OVER.
Salvation is here!
I feel so happy cos it's (probably) the last Chinese oral of my life! WAHAHAHAHA.

Yea so the topic was about third language, and I felt I did pretty well. Although after that I realised I have some points left unspoken. Yes, and KZQ said I have english accent when I speak chinese. Got me worried man. Anyway, the examiner was informed that I had to take the oral today cos I had competition tomorrow.

“你明天要参加什么比赛？”
“田径，”
“噢，是什么项目的？”
"短跑。”

Okay, I had no idea what discus what called in chinese, and I didnt want to reveal my lousy chinese standards, so I lied that I was in sprints!

So sorry man, I know this is an insult to some sprinters out there, but hey, I had no choice!

the Green blood.

2008-07-07T06:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, today's monday, oral's on tuesday, nationals are on wednesday.
And I'm ever so unprepared for anything.

I saved my nephew yesterday, in town. A car nearly ran him over, and I carried him and ran. It was that moment when I felt so relieved, and I found that my life can always be of help to others. It was good reason to live on in this cold world. To dedicate and help others.

And yes, as usual, I can't recall the funny ass moments. Went to Wai's place today, and just played my afternoon away. Oh, I placed my pot of lunch on my oral revision material. I know everyone's saying that, omfg chinese is so damn important, I'd better get my grip on it. I just can't do that man, like I said, I'm sure chinese means 'evil' in some other language. CHI-NESE. Sounds like a mutated penis ;)

I live to help and serve, but that doesn't mean you can run me over, Bitch.

if my Heart was stone.

2008-07-05T03:49:00.000-07:00

Homecoming was extremely tiring, but fun. Dunk dunk dunk. Ah, I've never had so much fun since I-don't-know-when. Only bad thing about today was Tjioe. When people asked him for donations he took coupons out of MY wallet!
Fuck him.

I have learnt today that I'm very insecured. I feel like I'll fall into some bottomless pit of doom if I'm nudged. And the low confidence and self-esteem doesn't help. Sometimes I can't help but feel so secluded, alienated, as if I'm alone in this. And no, I don't mean I don't cherish my friends, I do. I love each and every one of my friends, and I apologise if I practised the cheekopeh habit on you :P

I wish I could buy self confidence. I wish I can buy natural good looks. I wish, I wish, I wish I didn't have so many ridiculous and selfish wants. Ah, I hate myself.

saw familiar faces today. And yes, I saw you Nat, I think, but you were busy with something, so yea. Oh sheesh and today we met this sadist father who dunked his son for like mroe than ten times! And then Terence and I thought that scars on his legs were cane marks. Ah, poor boy.

I wish for all the unhappiness in the world to dissipate, like my faith and hope in life.

recognition.

2008-07-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

I think that Uncle Ringo sounds sinister.

as usual, i cant remember what happened during the day. anyway, homecoming's tomorrow, but nothing steers me on for the usual excitement of the event. I'm just, 'Oh okay." Haha, just no motivation. I try to tell myself that life is great as can be, and I should be elated that I'm living in this world. but somehow, I reach a point where I sulk and swear at anything. Bish, today the monkey teacher told us to help him out (which was btw time consuming) and I got so fed up I sweared in front of him. haha, he seemed intimidated, stupid monkey. So yea, homecoming tomorrow, big whoop. I'm simply out of energy to blog further. I'm just so tired, mentally and physically.

And I can't stand the pain, And I can't make it go away.

the Melancholy doesn't help.

2008-07-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Coolest carplate number everrrrrr.

Clearly, they don't spell well.

Blog has been picture-less for some time, so I decided to learn how to use the stupid camcorder. Turned out it worked just like my phone :D

Whenever I encounter something interesting in the day, I'll tell myself, I'm gonna blog about it today.

And somehow I never succeed in remembering all the crap!

Oh yes, Lee Jingwei came in first in the WALA! (it's some international competition for youths)

I'm a boy with a great junior :D I'm so glad I was there to witness his triumph.

Congrats Jingwei!

and uh, friday is the Be-Yourself day? So we get to wear home clothes, to study. Like it'll frickin help.

So anyway, I'll sign off, to go uh, get emotional.

I discovered that Emo helps you get to sleep :D

killer tension.

2008-06-30T06:46:00.000-07:00

sometimes you call out for help.
You wave your arms frantically, desperately hoping for someone to respond.
And people do see your plea, yet they turn back, and simply walk away.

I dont like to get my mood affected by other negative emotions.
Well, I try.
But at times, I cant just ignore them, not even for a second.
They haunt me.

today has been tiring, and unfortunate. Good luck, Jingwei for tomorrow's WALA meet!
JingWei FTW!

-

If you dare hurt her again, I swear to God, I will personally crush you.

Even though it means I'll get detained or something.
By all means, try me.

because You live.

2008-06-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

Went to the choir concert yesternight. The Sc pri girls were just adorable.
I love the first song they sang, can anyone tell me the song title? It's the theme song of Castle In The Air I think.
Thanks for the hug Shane, I needed it too!
Oh and Shane said I look better in long pants. hm, maybe I should stick to the casual tshirt and jeans :D

which leads me to another big thought: What's my dressing sense gonna be like ten years down the road.
So, I was thinking, maybe a V-neck, jeans, and a coat, finished off with shoes from PedroShop and good hair. Genius!

Today, my sister and I went to CCK park, which was like, crowded. Frickin kids spilled drink ):
and we jogged, and i lapped my sister for five times!
I know she's not the best runner around, but hey, five times around the damn park is ALOT.

Anyway, my cousin made breakfast for me. Two eggs for the eyes and bacon for the smile. And tomatoes for the cheeks and chilli sauce as eyesbrows. I was damn touched, cos she woke at like, five to make those. And yes, I weeped abit.
For a moment I felt like the luckiest man on Earth.

-

You seem so foreign and afraid of me, as if you'd crumble if I edged closer. Why.

I space Love space You.

2008-06-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

people around me all getting sad, in one way or another.
People often get sad, because they can't see the broader perspectives to the situations. Big picture man.
There's this chinese saying I remember which happens to be a lil irrelevant.

忍一时，风平浪静。退一步，海阔天空。

It means that if you tolerate a while, things will remain fine, and when you take a step back, you'll get the full picture and well, won't do stupid stuff.

For Shane,

"Rest your head

You worry too much

Its going to be alright

When times get rough

You can fall back on us

Dont give up

Please dont give up,"

I told you we're alike in so many ways. We lead sad lives, but hey, at least you have great friends. Always look on the bright side of life! ( I showed you that video before!)

read the damn Manual.

2008-06-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

Today is just one joke day. Sometimes I wish I was in America, where everyone believed in freedom of speech. Racist jokes are funny, we have to keep quiet because uh, it's not allowed in Singapore. Honestly I won't mind people making fun of my race.

Check out Carlos Mencia. He's someone who believes in freedom of speech, and wants everyone to have fun, just laughing and making fun of everyone, including himself. I admire him (:

so yea, I wont continue, in case I get frickin' sued or something.
anyway I recalled a joke I came across some time ago.

Three men got caught by a tribe. The tribe leader told them to do as he says or they're good as dead.
The three men nodded.
"Now each of you go find a fruit, and bring ten of it back!"
Three of them hurriedly set off to search.

Not long after, the first guy came back running with ten apples in his hands.
The tribal leader spoke, "Very well, now stuff these fruits inside your rectum (through the hole...), and if you make a sound I'll kill you,"
The man sighed, and started off.
One, two... He moaned in pain, and was killed.

Not long after, the second guy came running with ten cherries.
After being told the instructions, he started off.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... he burst out in laughter and was killed.

Meanwhile in heaven, the first guy met the second guy.
"hey you could've made it, why did you laugh?"
The second said," I saw the hird guy coming with pineapples!"

Okay anyway, Daniel owes me Java Chips and MrNg owes me Kitkat. Teehee!

2008-06-25T07:35:00.001-07:00

Nitric acid irritates your eyes and should be kept away from them as far as possible.

I had to learn it the hard way. MsKhoo is pretty friendly and humurous I guess, despite her killer stare and killer Curves. I won't use boobs cos boobs is overused today!

Anyway, we had this relationship talk kinda thing, which was basically about
Sex, love, infatuation, marriage, sex, self-control, sex, friends, sex, relationships, sex.
Chye told me I behave 'not as crazily' when there're girls around. Sucks ):
Or maybe i'm just too crazy in school. I nearly had a bet with some guy that I'd get MsKhoo's number. Whoops.

Then later we found a dead cat in the corner of the gym. Coach was super.

"Omg! Are those maggots?"
(hey i really didnt have a clue kay. They looked like pop corn cos they twirled up)
"Oh no, they're earthworms."

I had no idea Germans and Singaporeans had the same sense of humour ):

bored (again)

2008-06-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

Wow I wish this was true. Anyway I'm just bored to pieces, so I'm checking out some quizzes. TeeHee!

my Heart burns for you.

2008-06-24T04:28:00.000-07:00

so, I guess the previous posts were getting a little too emo(tional).
things are starting to look up, or rather, I was starting to look from another perspective. I won't burst into tears when I see my cousin now.
Her name's Jamie, i feel tired typing 'my cousin' all the time. instead of crying, i put on a smile. sometimes i try to plaster it on, so that she'll smile too.

anyway, school today was good, i guess.
Bitch here Bitch there Bitch everywhere.
Oh guess wat, I'm math rep. so now I collect YOUR work, and I copy! Muahaha.

And thanks Shuli & Wens. Your diary has helped me organise matters, and hand up work on time :D
handing work on time, it's like finding kryptonite. TeeHee!

it's the Beast in our heads.

2008-06-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

school today made me feel common, literally.
like I was any other student, with common friends, common homework.
it provided me a space to breathe and think, in the midst of all this shit.
Laughter, smiles, Jokes, irritation, it all made me happy.
Suddenly, I seem to look forward to School, where escapism awaits, from this fucked up situation.

so, last night, my cousin and I baked. Flour flew across the kitchen, half beaten eggs on the floor, our mould almost being poisoned by some lizard pee.

When i told her i wanted to video-cam all of it down, she refused.
She says that, she doesnt want me to miss her too much, cos she knows im exactly that type who will.
I remember the words
"I want you to rush forward in life. Don't be burdened by your past!"
We were both in tears. They just seem to flow up out of my eyes in streams.
Her embrace seemed like the most comfortable thing I've ever known.
So I only had two hours of sleep before school started, it was worth it.

Shane told me, that God wants to end her suffering. she was so sure about it that it convinced me, and it was another way to see it. It made me feel much better.
Thanks Shane.

Free me now.

2008-06-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

I was totally controlled by my emotions. When I couldn't find my calculator I dont know what the hell caused me to get so darn frustrated, to the point of breaking down.

School, Relationship problems, My cousin, the past, Everything.
and I'm only fucking fifteen.

I think I have the saddest life anyone can possibly get. Yea, I try to be optimistic, so you see me laughing my ass off around. I remember my uncle telling me, that he was thankful I was optimistic, because if I weren't I probably would've cried a pacific ocean out of my eyes. I miss him.

right now, i can only see the unfortunate events in my head, right at the bottom of the pit. during nights I'd just cry to sleep, before I enter a temporary moment of escapism. When i wake, everything starts flowing back into my head.

all of my closest friends seem to dissipate, and I understand their reasons, but I just feel so helpless. No one to talk to, leaving my head to wonder, remeber, recollect, and break down.

Yesternight, my cousin came back to Singapore. I didnt know what I felt. Happy, yet depressing.
She was pale as can be, sitting in a wheelchair. It hurts me to see her so.
and i spoke, my words blurred by the hints of crying. And I told her that she'd be alright.
The feeling, it just threw me into tears.
but i knew i had to be strong, in front of her, that's what she wants.

I wish.

2008-06-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

sometimes, no matter how hard you try to think positive, You simply can't, cos sometimes, there just aren't any positive sides to it.

My close relative is down with cancer. She's waiting for her time. When the call came, i was just dumbfounded.
I lost my uncle three years ago; he was closer to me than my dad was. Now this.
I love her. she was the best big sister anyone could ever have. I just love her so much.

yea, you so see me laughing off and smiling like nothing matters. ironically, my face is tear-filled now.
i know i shouldn't cry; i know i gotta be strong. That was what she would've wanted me to be. And that's what I'll become.

everything happens for a reason, Shuli says. I wish that she'll be blessed with every happiness. I'll make her remaining days her best time.

tomorrow I'm having my national juniors meet. I have no idea how I'll perform in a state like that. I hope i don't disappoint my Coach. ah, gotta give it all I've got.

And the tear flow never ceases.

because It's hard.

2008-06-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

so I went out with a diva today. She won't allow me to post her picture!

You're great, just the way you are. I'm really glad today happened. It felt like a gift :D
I'm so gonna win the bet. We'll be back at the secret hideout, every year. Hee.

Thanks for today, Poh! :D

today i thought again, mostly about my dad. Sometimes i wonder whether i'm really his son. I'm nothing like him, not a hint. it kept occuring to me that one day my dad will tell me that I'm not his son, (from this part onwards it's crap) and he'll tell me my real parents are super secret agents and they died in action and he, being a good friend of my parents promised to take care of me. that'd be frickin' cool.

oh well, for now I'm just a small boy. Living in a big world.

One day, I'll be a big boy, living in a big world. My world.

rip that mask off.

2008-06-18T04:41:00.000-07:00

I remember, my first impression of the Ouyongs and the Chens were like, "omg, I'm gonna be spending this trip with a bunch of Lians."

Yes, i used to classify girls who wear funny outfits and have this weirdass hairdo, occasionally twit (no offence) under the category of Lians. and i know alot of us does the same. It can't be helped, human beings love to classify stuff. I used to think Lians were people who only cared about how their hair looks like (wait so do I), and get the latest skinny jeans trend. Heck, Lian sounds funny, who the hell came up with the name.

so I was spending my first day with them at the driving range, hoping they wouldnt call their beng friends to come whoop my ass or something. Well, they're actually really nice people, I swear i got a shock. I know my vocab sucks like crap, it's hard for me to describe stuff. They just were not what i thought of them to be. It jerked me into deep though (once again)

classification. assumptions. discrimination. I'm sure im not the only person who feels this way. but well, why classify and differentiate when we're all goddamn humans. Yea sure, the AhBengs can be intimidating, they fish their phone out of their pocket and the whole gang is behind him before you know it. oh yea, funny thing is, they'll beat you up if you cross their territory, as if it's theirs. what the fuck? anyway, point is, what's the difference between an Ahbeng and a normal good kid. Yea sure, outlooks. But we all got four limbs, a face, and heck, maybe even the same language. why the Boobs can't we just get along. why do humans like to classify and discriminate.

It feels like the whole human existence becomes a big question mark inside my head. Sheesh.

I walked on Clouds

2008-06-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

while i was on my way home, like the damned six hour ride, i was thinking how to describe this trip.
im kinda speechless now, like in a dazzled blur. So I came back home, showered, and I sat down.
Now what?

yes, the trip was fun. it didnt feel like a holiday with the family, more like with friends.
fortunately, i got to know the Ouyongs and the Chens (the chests rapists)
my dad told me i used to bathe with them when i was a toddler. and yea, they're girls.
loved the card games that we play through the night, and truth or dare :D
OH YEA, we nearly got caught but the hotel manager for ringing other doorbells as a dare. SHEESH.
I know i have a blogging deficiency, so dont blame me if I'm not clear (:

so for the past three days, i was a cookie monster and FamousAmos was my best friend :D
we tried every flavour. we even sneaked it in the cinema.
Oh yes, and we caught three movies in three days. Two midnights and one in the morning.
FUNFUNFUN.

Golf there was da bombz. weather was great, people there were friendly too.
ah, what more can I ask for.
Speaking of service, the people there are champions.

"hello sir, what would you like to order?"
"hi, can i have a cup of ice water?" (i know 'ice water' is not proper english, but...)
"sorry, we dont have ice water,"
"oh uh, can i have plain water and ice cubes in a cup then?"
"right away, sir,"

Pictures will be up when i figure how to use the gay white camcorder.
somehow the short three day trip cant be summarised in just this post.

tell me I'll see you tomorrow.

2008-06-13T06:08:00.000-07:00

DWI CHOONG IS BACK IN SINGAPORE. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE IS GONNA BE ON A LOOKOUT FOR SINGAPOREAN CUTE GUYS AGAIN.
that sweetcheeks got me tonnes of chocolate, like I'm not obese enough already.
and she told me Crabtree & Evelyn double chocolate chip cookies are impossible to make. What is kill my morale. Sheesh!

so, today is Friday the 13th. whoo, scary. my aunt got completely freaked out. we had to change our departure time because of her.

"eh Ben what time we leaving Singapore arh?"
"maybe around 11 to 12."
"HUH! (scandalous HUH) Friday thirteenth?!"
"eh ya, friday,"
"Dont want lah! later the police at the custom dont let us pass. Suay one leh. or the police dog come bite us. or we travel on the road then train derail knock us down. or got robber rob us, or..."

basically she went on and on so my dad decided to change to fourteenth, on the Saturday. like, Three in the morning.
now tell me, WHO THE HELL DRIVES AT THREE IN THE MORNING.

I'm giving a pass for the Wings competition tomorrow, because of the trip. since I dont really bother, might as well give up the chance for the others. Others whose interest remain on the field, in that ring.

yes, Dwi is moaning in depression cos she just came back and i have to go like, five hours later. and yes, I'm sad too ):

Guys dont miss me too much kay. I know it's hard, but just try! :D

will be back on monday evening, with the fruit of labour from shopping at KL and Genting. Muaha.
LOVE YA'LL AND PEACE OUT!

I'm such an Ass.

2008-06-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

so there's classy black, sexy red, and gay white. My dad had to choose Gay white. Sheesh.
anyway, was having this homework session with WenFei at limbang Macs, and i saw so many Unity people.

like, there was this guy named WeeKiat, his hair was a mixture of gold and brown, and he had that float cap thing.
All the Kiats i know are ahbengs.
The guy had this come-kick-my-ass face.

Oh and I was doing the damn rubrik's cube, which pissed me off.
it had to go wrong at the last step. stupid colourful cube got some damn attitube problem. Sheesh.

math homework is like, the best. I did wenfei's share too :D
and wenfei kindly showed me an example of the kinda letters that SC girls like to write :D
anyhow, I'm also glad we're friends. Hehe.

Ben and Elaine's comedy Company.

lil John loved to make bets. his dad was very desperate to rid off his bad habit. thus, when we was moving to a new school, he told his teacher to keep an eye on lil John.

so, lil John went to school. he saw his teacher and decided to make a bet with her.
"I betcha ten bucks you wont show me your butt no matter how I plead,"
the teacher thought, if she won the bet, she might be able to curb his bad habit, thus she showed him his ass and lil John paid her ten bucks.

later that night, the teacher called lil John's father and told him about the happening.
"i did it, i curbed him off his bad habit!"
"uh no you didnt. he bet me a hundred bucks he'd see your ass by today."

Lurbbbyaaa! XOXO

2008-06-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

oh yea...
irresistable, even the hamster in the ball wants it.

i almost died studying. luckily there was wenfei! we had (finger) sex, so much fun. Oh, we're so gonna do it again.

oh so we had cadbury and water for dinner. i sniffed her hair she poked my chests. we're even!
(wait till i get my hands on your chests!)

i wish these days never end. i'm so happy you and I are, oh so close :D

DATE ME SOMETIME, SEXMATE!

"I kinda like that thing between your legs."

2008-06-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

went to Shuli's house for homework session. so Sorry i couldnt remain silent most of the time. hey, but we're talking about homework. it's almost a bad word. HOMEWORK.

her brother was damn shy. oh and i got forced to show him my dacing chests okay. SHEESH.
so studies were boring and soul-sucking, so we caught like, one fifth of the zack and cody show and the whole of The Covenant. and yes, the male lead inside is hot, not to mention the female one. (someone doesnt like her, hehe)

I super envy her family. Funny people, have extra funny friends, just laugh whole day long kind. oh and thanks for telling me all those stuff, making my stomach hurt like anything.

I hope we can do homework together again :D

PS. sorry i made your mum think that I'm your boyfriend. not intentional. and i like your maid too (:

'简单就是美。'

2008-06-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

you look super cute. Smile more!

mine's really wild, hard to tame :(

see, my two balls and my crooked dragon.

went out with the stan and gang. and Wen Fei (there's a space okay. hehe)

got an extra ticket for kungfu panda. So it wasnt the best movie we could watch, and Wen Fei said i looked like the panda. Gah.

I really like the present you two got for me, W&S. (Wen Fei and Shuli) i promise i'll use it everyday! :D

on the wrapper wrote:

BEN

THE
MAN

hahaha, BEN. SO SWEET SHULI :D

A picture speaks a thousand words. well in this case, picturesssss.

Pictures from Wen Fei.

REALLY HAPPY WE GOT OUT TODAY, GUYS! :D

"can I try that on?"

2008-06-07T08:17:00.000-07:00

my aunt's the coolest.

"Ben arh, next time arh, you go out work, must beware of all the people around you! Never let your guard down!"
"Orh."
"Especially must be careful of the horny female colleagues okay!"
I choked on my tea.

so we went shopping (hehe), and i was conversing with the person at fox. i was really impressed at her oratorical skills kay. i didn't even feel like im her customer. just friends. I am so going to attend interaction classes when i grow up. it's so darn important.

OH YEA.
someone got her braces removed. that girl with fancy specs :D
congrats, Elaine.

'there's always an Alternative.'

2008-06-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

double training session day.
sprints+throws+abs+crazyangmohchickenchop+basketball+tennis
+twolitresofwater+crazywarmup+throwsagain+gym
= Death.

i was on my dad's car, on my way home, and i literally fell asleep the minute i lay my butt down in the car.

today i threw a 32. it definitely shows when you no longer have interest.
Coach talked, we listened; but it felt like I was the only target.

get a grip, Ben.

so today, I got myself jeans from Lee. i gotta say, i was super impressed. it pawns Levi's handsdown. its jeans shrunk my butt! :D

you're my Sunshine.

2008-06-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

hahaha, the smaller one.

today i watched 'definitely, maybe' again. I remember how we argued our turns to talk about parts of this movie, just a few days ago. i can't help but think about our journey, our friendship. it's been five years. yet i know that you'd be in my life forever, already.

i must've been a super nice guy in my previous life; that could be the only explanation for my friendship with you. you've no idea how much happiness and joy you've brought into my life. i know how cliche this sounds, yet it seems like the only words that can express my feelings.

Six years, we've been through much. although not all of the experiences were pleasant, I'm still glad it happened. I'm still glad it was you and I, not anyone else. I'm glad that at the end of the day, we're still friends. The best kind (:

i still remember those days in primary school. the only time i was ever a prefect. haha and we bickered over the very fact. we used to play netball during recess, and i had this weirdass voice i could make, to intimidate people. "oiiiiiiiii!!" not to mention runescape, then maplestory. we were happy. wait, we still are (:

thankyou for being there when I was pulling my hair out.
thankyou for texting me all night long.
thankyou for all the horny talks, I can't get enough :P
thankyou for being honest with me.
thankyou for being my friend.

wenfei, feifei, wennie, Wenzi (i remember this one came from the mosquito sucking the love outta me or smth. Hahaha.) someday, we'll play with my dragon. Muaha.

yes, childish and naive. Who cares. we're gonna be friends forever. forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Well, you get the point.
LOVE YOU FOREVER , TEO WENFEI.

don't wanna Miss a thing.

2008-06-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

i can't possibly find anyone more random. neither can i find anyone more retarded. but you stand out. Yes you do.

whenever I have problems, or need a talking partner during training, I know you're just a stone's throw away. I know I can trust you.

I know this sounds kinda mushy, but without you my CatHigh life wouldn't be as fun.
i promised to help you, cos we're family. All of us.

I want you to know that my arms will always be open for a troubled heart, or just for some naughty gossip. I'll miss you in the years to come.

Thank you for being a part of my life, Lee JingWei (:

don't wanna Close my eyes.

2008-06-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

i'm so damn happy we're great friends again, Shuli. haha, not like you're ever gonna read my blog thanks to a really smart pact. Yes, i need stickers, so get me some.

had the ShaWaShu lunch at pizzahut. I got off a stop earlier, and i didn't have any cow direction sense, which basically spelt a hard time for me. Anyway i never sat at pizzahut for this long. (:

so yea, i'm happy :D thank you, Shuli. it's different without you. i dont ever wanna lose a friend like you. LURBZSXZSZX EEUUUUXZXZXSZ.

thank God (:

you're Back!

2008-06-02T07:58:00.001-07:00

ten days sure felt like a ten weeks. I'm so happy you're back. we can finally hang out, Wenfei.
next time we visit Italy we must remember to avoid visiting David, he's a disappointment ;D

oh and,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY LIM!
if it weren't for you i wouldnt have watch the same movie on a consecutive day.
I owe you a present (:

so, Jingpeng talked me into skipping remedial tomorrow. not my fault, hehe.

i know im posting in blocks of things but i'm just kinda high tonight. happy things are happening.
Thanks you for calling me. Really.

YAY WENFEI'S BACK!

made of Honour.

2008-06-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

today has been great, with marissa wong. next time you need P.Is, contact us.
We're professional (:

we ran, hid, ran, spied, ran, find. picking our steps and paths, we edged closer and closer to them.
i never had this much fun for a long time. Thanks, marsy :D

anyway, we were in the cinema, eating our sandwich. i had a bite, and half of it dropped off. obviously it has been divided purposefully.

'oh they cut it into half,' i said.
'huh?' she attempted to lift the other half. 'OH...'

i know it sounds retarded, but she really is awesome. never fails to amaze me.
and yes, i know you ordered the double cheeseburger correctly the other time. (:

you're Infinity, on the Scale of one to ten.

2008-05-31T07:39:00.000-07:00

so the lunch wasn't great, but you made it worthwhile. thanks (:

i realise i always think about what might happen in the future. sometimes it gets really weird.
like...

I think I'll drive a black Honda in the future, or something classy.
I think I'll live in a two-storey condo.
I think I'll live with a Husky.
I think I'll open some shop. I like trade.
I think I'll be a good father.
I think I'll get myself perfect eyesight.
I think I'll party every friday night.

I have this huge mind that can contain all these thoughts, yet i have no space for physics equations and chemical formulae. Sheesh.

An average person has 70 000 thoughts running through his/her mind everyday. I think i have like, twice of that.

if only I were better.

2008-05-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

today was pretty interesting. i had some once-in-a-lifetime, weird-ass encounters.

i had this dream, thing is, i couldnt tell whether it was a wet dream or a horror dream.

brief description:

i dreamt in my dream. yea, if that wasn't weird enough, after i woke up from the dream, i dreamt that there was this girl lying beside me, on my bed. her hair was disheveled so i couldnt see her face, but i saw her body (whoops).

so when i woke up to real life, some part of my head suddenly realised that, hey ben, you just made out with a freakin ghost.

anyway, it's a dream, so i cant fully recall it.

my dad offered to drive me to breakfast then to school. when i was having breakfast this pretty pussy cat kept cuddling my leg, and no, i didnt feed it any food. i know, that babe looks kinda fierce.

Then, after training, Chye and I were on our way home, taking the train. Hohoho, we met this girl, who was wearing a pair of thongs under a transclucent white dress. sheesh. and Chye blamed me for being cheeko. HEY, IT'S JUST RIGHT THERE FOR YOU TO SEE, DAMNIT. sometimes i wonder what's wrong with these kinda people. show off their thongs? might as well walk on the streets naked. more of an eye-opener (:

wait, the story doesnt end just there! Chye got off at Yishun, so i settled down on a sit, and eventually dozed off. when i woke up at yew tee, i found this note on bag, a cellphone number and a 'call me (:' written on it. i dont know what's wrong with me, but i got kinda freaked out.

WHAT IF it's someone who wants to cheat me?

WHAT IF it's some uncle/auntie instead of a girl?

WHAT IF YiChye wants me to make out with him?!

hey, i got proof kay. first, he's gay(we presume?), and secondly, the handwriting of the writer of that note sucks.

Don't worry, Chye. we're good friends :D

my Guilty Pleasure.

2008-05-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

yea sure, i can have big dreams, big ambitions, but what nuts does any of that matter if i cant do what it takes.

what bothers me even more is that, I'm ALWAYS unwilling to complete work, and spend my free time on my studies and stuff, even with the knowledge that it would do me a significant amount of good if i engage such a schedule.

YOU'RE FUCKING LAZY, BEN.

time flew past (not literally, Dwi) as i stared at the computer screen, and it stared right back at me. Yea, this is what people call 'stoning'. ah, rot and die.

so i was bored, and i went to Dwi next door.

"hey dwi. i feel damn guilty, doing nothing as time flies by."
extremely intelligently, Dwi looks up into the sky.
"what? Where?"

the golden Goal.

2008-05-28T04:36:00.000-07:00

Saw the clouds today? (:
Salvation is here from this bloody hot weather. i sweat when i walk from the kitchen to my room.

so, Sarah decided that she cook our dinner tonight. i couldnt get pictures cos she wouldnt let me, but here's a brief description. the greens were black, meat was raw pink, and the soup was sweet instead of salty.

Dont worry, i still love you (: see, i ate them.
now i need the pills for diarrhoea.

anyway,
THIS SHOULD NOT BE CALLED THE HOLIDAYS.
IF IT IS WE'RE LIVING A DAMN LIE.

-

Thanks, for talking to me. And saying this font makes me sound smart.

i still pray for the same four people everynight.

a new love.

2008-05-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

i thought about so much crap today, like am i gonna get married, when, how many children am i gonna get, what would happen if i cant find a wife, and why, well you get the point.

i carried my nephew into my arms today, watching him sleep and drool. ain't it amazing, a young life in my arms. i've done all the shit nannies would do, changing diapers, playing freaking lego with the child, and i find all these worth it, seeing the child smile and laugh innocently.

basically, I love babies (:

i wanna have many many children (with manymany wives hehe.) but then again, i think global warming is just gonna swallow us up. sheesh, fuck it.

my nephew's name is Xan. XAN. that's possibly the most wicked name around. and you used to call him Xan the Man.
i was feeding him soup today.

"open your mouth wide, swallow your soup and spell bee for me,"
i push the spoon near his mouth, yet he rejects, pointing into the spoon. I looked, but there was simply ntohing wrong.
"what's wrong?"
"got bubble!"
(the oil bubble) I nearly dropped dead.

finding Treasure

2008-05-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Pink is da bombz.

so i went down to PS with the guys to catch Indianna Jones. he looked better in the previous films (:

so we sat in the cinema, waiting for the movie to play.

"hey jingwei, if a girl is gonna sit beside me later, im gonna talk to her."

"you say one arh."

"yea."

meanwhile, an old granny occupies the sit, and we both choked laughing.

cos' we are 310.

2008-05-25T05:48:00.001-07:00

the 'act cute' picture as requested by tan riying.

fun, joy, laughter.

anger, sadness, reluctance.

i got more than i bargained for from this camp. gazing at the starfall, the soothing atmosphere provided me a thinking space.

52km. 7 hours. three gallons of sweat. two legs full of lactic.

A sense of achievement.

despite the gruelling experience, i never forgot about the scenery. breathtaking.

oh sheesh, so i freaked out when i encountered a bee hive during the rock-climb. Hey, it is a beehive. exactly the kinda thing that would get me a thousand bites at a time.

i didn't notice the sudden craze of lame jokes until the wait for our train back home.

'how do you check computer mouses for their gender?'

'check their pad'

'why're torchlights not heavy?'

'they're torchlights.

you get the idea. people do silly things when they're lacking of sleep.

"再给我两分钟, ..." ( i was singing some lines from a song)

"huh? 给什么？几时给？"

oh and thanks elaine and gang for picking me up and cooking me lunch at the funny restaurant (:

right, i've got to do something about my face, it has been infested with nasty stuff.
"so long, suckers!" (i dont mean it, i think)

you pinned your hopes on us.

you fought for us.

you thought for us.

yet we thrashed your hopes into your face.

i'm sorry.

we're sorry.

"Ben, wake up, it's time for the damn camp,"

2008-05-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

Am at Wai's. omfg, CAMP.

i hope i'll make it back in one piece. i hope this camp can make me appreciate stuff more.

this morning in the mrt, i was sitting down and there was this girl standing just in front. Sudennly, there was this jerk, and the girl fell and sat on my laps! whoo. (:

okay, time for the soccer match. sheesh, since when did i watch soccer.

reminiscense.

2008-05-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

remember those days where you called me betty.

remember those days where i called you glittergirl.

i miss those days.

-
was at bugis after making my IC with Dom. the aunty at ICA molested my thumb.

'let's do it again.'
'wait the machine's spoilt, now let's try again.'
'gosh, the thumbprint isnt good enough, gimme your thumb again'

so I was strolling around at Bugis street, when this chair suddenly flew past. there was a damn fight. damn, they had to fight when i had my eyes on this really nice berms. what the mofo is wrong with these people.

ben and elaine's comedy company:

jack brought his son to the park to play ball, when a big boy approached to ask if he could join.
Son: dude, Fuck off.
Jack: son, that's really rude! be poilte!
"Fine," his son said. "Please fuck off,"