sometimes, no matter how hard you try to think positive, You simply can't, cos sometimes, there just aren't any positive sides to it.

My close relative is down with cancer. She's waiting for her time. When the call came, i was just dumbfounded.
I lost my uncle three years ago; he was closer to me than my dad was. Now this.
I love her. she was the best big sister anyone could ever have. I just love her so much.

yea, you so see me laughing off and smiling like nothing matters. ironically, my face is tear-filled now.
i know i shouldn't cry; i know i gotta be strong. That was what she would've wanted me to be. And that's what I'll become.

everything happens for a reason, Shuli says. I wish that she'll be blessed with every happiness. I'll make her remaining days her best time.

tomorrow I'm having my national juniors meet. I have no idea how I'll perform in a state like that. I hope i don't disappoint my Coach. ah, gotta give it all I've got.

And the tear flow never ceases.