I was totally controlled by my emotions. When I couldn't find my calculator I dont know what the hell caused me to get so darn frustrated, to the point of breaking down.

School, Relationship problems, My cousin, the past, Everything.
and I'm only fucking fifteen.

I think I have the saddest life anyone can possibly get. Yea, I try to be optimistic, so you see me laughing my ass off around. I remember my uncle telling me, that he was thankful I was optimistic, because if I weren't I probably would've cried a pacific ocean out of my eyes. I miss him.

right now, i can only see the unfortunate events in my head, right at the bottom of the pit. during nights I'd just cry to sleep, before I enter a temporary moment of escapism. When i wake, everything starts flowing back into my head.

all of my closest friends seem to dissipate, and I understand their reasons, but I just feel so helpless. No one to talk to, leaving my head to wonder, remeber, recollect, and break down.

Yesternight, my cousin came back to Singapore. I didnt know what I felt. Happy, yet depressing.
She was pale as can be, sitting in a wheelchair. It hurts me to see her so.
and i spoke, my words blurred by the hints of crying. And I told her that she'd be alright.
The feeling, it just threw me into tears.
but i knew i had to be strong, in front of her, that's what she wants.